Varsha Patel

Trigger warning: This article contains references to Islamophobia, racism and violence that some readers may find distressing.

'What’s uncomfortable is the insidious undertone in the lack of choice South Asian couples have in their big day.’

It’s no secret that South Asian women have faced an incredible amount of scrutiny about their appearances for generations. While social media’s “mute” function is handy to shut out negative influences online, there’s sadly no escaping the intensely personal remarks made by your own family.

I’m 10 years old and it’s late on a Sunday afternoon. I’ve just finished haphazardly drying my hair with a dryer that’s almost certainly on its last legs. The smoky, singed smell coming out of it signals the rude reality of living in a house with four women who all have the same hair-wash day as you.

The second I flick the hairdryer off, my mum appears at the bottom of the stairs, shouting for me to bring down the coconut oil. It’s time for my weekly scalp massage.

Makeup artist Zunera, whose bridal prices start from £350, disagrees that it is a scam. "[Bridal makeup] is not a dishonest scheme. It's a service which someone is providing. If a customer is willing to pay £1,000, then that's their decision. No one is forcing them."

Hair is a huge part of South Asian beauty culture. Many South Asian women aspire to have long, silky and thick lengths, with the pursuit of healthy hair embedded into our beauty routines from day one.

And I mean literally. As newborns, our heads are shaved in a tradition which is said to ensure thicker hair growth in adult life. But arguably the most crucial rule in South Asian hair maintenance is regular hair oiling.

A Law.com International investigation has uncovered how tokenism is rife across the UK's legal industry with a host of Black and minority lawyers describing how their names and images were used on client pitches and promotional materials they had nothing to do with.

So why, in 2019, are critical remarks still part and parcel of growing up as an Asian-Indian? Of course, some blame can be attributed to the beauty industry. Our good friends at Fair & Lovely (a skin-lightening cosmetic product) have played a role in perpetuating the light skin ideal. My cousins in Kenya used this cream too, as living in a hot country was deemed detrimental to their appearance. The media’s discussion of the Indian film actress Bipasha Basu as being 'too dark' for Bollywood, dubbing her an 'unconventional' heroine, is another example of the industry’s enemy lines.

“I was attracted to the shiny law firm associate life.”

Celine*, a former associate at a top tier law firm in the U.K., is upfront about what sold her the dream of private practice.